CMAKE_ARGS is passed to the configure step, so -j8 isn’t very useful there. I think you might have to replace BUILD_COMMAND. Note that for Makefiles, $(MAKE) is used to pass along job server information and Ninja is parallel by default. I think replacing BUILD_COMMAND is all that’s available today in master for the IDE generators.
Not really, no. I think you can ask what the build command is once you make it, but I think that’s it without more hoops. Making a feature request for something like a BUILD_ARGS would be useful for tracking such an addition though.